So for the first time since I started writing these, I just deleted a long rambling blog that I just wrote. I swore to myself that I would be completely open and honest in these blogs. I lied. I simply don't think I am a good enough writer to be that open to people that don't know me very closely. I don't know if you will "get it". Here's the deal, I am at rock-bottom. See, that sounds so dark! But I am. I have been reflecting on what I have/have not done with my life....and its pretty fucking depressing. Seriously.
Ok, with all that said let me also say this...I am capable of accomplishing so much more. I have to move forward. Instead of looking around me in comparison at my peers, I need to be a fucking man and stop living with a defeatist attitude. Sounds so serious when I write it out.
I feel like something good is going to happen for me in the near future. Something is going to give. I just have to be ready. And that's what I will be, for the first time in my life...ready.
I don't know how this will read, but I promise I'm not ready to jump of a bridge. Just a little down and out right now. It doesn't help that I've quit smoking again and I'm a little irritable also. Grrr.
This is me smiling at you..
Love you. Really.
C
P.S.- The pic has nothing to do with anything. I just liked it :)
I get it, I understand.
ReplyDeleteWhen you're at the bottom there is no where to go but up. As my mom says, put on your big-girl panties and make some shit happen my friend.
I know you can and you will.
PS- Quit smoking punk.
Miss you, love you.