Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Where are these vibrations coming from? There are so many negative things I want to blurt out right now. I got so much shit on my mind. I really hate feeling this way. I wish I could blame it on booze, but I'm sober as Sunday morning right now. Yeah, St Patty's Day, 1am...and I'm not shitfaced. Go figure. I was at my usual watering hole this evening and decided to venture downtown as I was bored. When I got there, I wondered around a bit and weighing heavy on my mind is one major thought....I don't feel like I belong there anymore. I don't feel like communicating with anyone. I'm on some kind of different level. A different wavelength. I'm definitely not thinking clearly. I need to get back to the basics. Have you seen that movie "Into the wild"? Kind of like that, but figuratively, not literally. Shit, who wants to die in the middle of the Alaskan wilderness? Not me. Anyway, I digress.
I know what'll fix this..a day at the beach. Always does..
On another note, I was thinking about my Grandfather today. I miss that old man. I have unconditional love for a few select people, but I miss knowing it was reciprocated. Knowing that he loved me no matter what. I was safe sitting next to him. He was proud of his little grandson. He was a good man. I was given his name.............Am I fucking it up?